Lost and found… (Pt.2.)
(Part 2)
“Flying high in April, shot down in May” (or October), October of 1990 to be precise.
Everything to that point had fallen into place. The years of hard work, setbacks, and victories, had finally culminated in a seemingly singular moment in time. We were coming to the end of the regular season of my senior year and we were gaining momentum. Ahead, was the district tournament and after that, most likely soccer at the collegiate level.
Cut right… [all while rockin’ a mullet…] Fun fact: After four overtime periods, that semi-final game remained tied and went to a penalty shoot-out, that we ultimately won. At the time, it was believed to be the longest playoff game in Missouri high school soccer history.
Photos from our previous-year’s district semi-final game circa November 1989
As I remember, it was around halftime and I was advancing the ball from midfield into the offensive zone. The ball got away from me, as I quickly cut right, towards the inside of the field. As the opposing midfielder was closing in for the takeaway, unbeknownst to me, another opponent was closing in from behind. While extending and turning my right foot outward in order to regain possession (something that I knew not to do…), I shifted my weight, and at the moment I made contact with the ball (and the ground), my extended leg and my body became sandwiched between both opposing players, with one player, his foot, and his inertia heading west, and me, along with the other player, heading east (all resulting in excessive valgus force). In a split second, my knee was wrecked and my season was over. It was the worst pain I had ever experienced. As I was helped off of the field and on to the bench to prepare for my eventual trip to the E.R., with my injured leg straightened, my lower leg still swung freely from side to side, like a pendulum, the sight of which caused one of my teammates to become nauseous.
My ride to the hospital was filled with a mixture of pain, disorientation, and fear, especially of what may lie ahead, surgery and further unknowns. Strangely, at a time filled with such uncertainty, I caught a glimpse of a familiar face as I re-entered the E.R., on my way back from having an X-ray. A few rooms down, a former teammate of mine who was then playing for a rival school, was also in the E.R and was in fairly rough shape. He was a striker, and as his dad explained, he collided mid-air with the raised knee of the opposing goalkeeper, sustaining an injury to his side, ribs, and a kidney. What were the odds...?
While my leg ultimately healed and I physically recovered, emotionally I did not. I merely went through the motions that final semester. I was disconnected, basically becoming a casual observer. My grades suffered and in turn, my interest in college and its (their) interest in me diminished. I just didn’t give a s@#%. I was lost. My own soundtrack would later reflect my perspective and outlook; bitterness mixed with elements of futility; hostility mixed with dashes of hubris. Coincidentally, the artists and music of the times reflected a similar mood.
My personal relationship with music, better yet, with sound, became ancillary, more tangential. Instead of plugging into a Marshall stack and strumming a “power chord”, I learned to design, craft, and install large carpet-covered subwoofer cabinets that emanated sound waves, which could be heard and felt blocks away; “Audio Thunder Designs” was what I called my endeavor. During that time my physical form had changed as well. Spurred along by a new found focus on my upper body, I went from a thin 165-pound frame, to a more robust 195-pound chassis, that could ultimately bench over 300 lbs. Listening to certain songs, fueled my training and my rage.
After a couple of years, while I was still lost in a mostly self-made wilderness, something began to stir inside me. I began to “hear” the music again, the guitar again. It was an awakening, similar to what was experienced by another teenager on the cusp of adulthood, who lived on a small farm, not far from my hometown. A young man who awoke one morning to a stirring, an innate curiosity that led him to a barn, wherein his own future journey was illuminated by the glow of a mysterious green crystal.
It was time.
Our stage was set…
October 2015: Stage set for Toxic A$$ets to perform at a local charity event
To be continued…
Epilogue: Around this time (1993-94), I also rekindled my relationship with the sport I loved; An encore performance (perhaps another story for another time…)
Tony’s Takeaways
We will almost certainly be faced with adversity, and unfortunately in some cases, tragedy and heartbreak. How each of us address these situations or events, is a personal journey that hopefully results in recovery, and even, growth.
In business (and life), the ability to adapt to unexpected stressors, disruptions, or adversity, and ultimately recover, is generally known as resilience. However, unlike my time astray in my mostly-self-made “wilderness”, organizations cannot survive in a state of suspended adolescence. Decisions must be made, and most often, must be made quickly. It is a fine line though, as the result of either haste or hesitation, will likely be failure. Companies and leaders must be agile. According to author David Koenig, “Agility, examines how firms create a consistent, repeatable ability to detect and assess changes in the competitive environment in real-time, and then take decisive action.” Are you ready?